Subject: PLAYER, frozen 237 views

[kalinann]

FROZEN
fifteen | male | player | hope | sora fujiwara

The Character

Hello sir you haven't played this game before have you?

Sora had known that he was going through a lot of things that he hadn't known of. He just been going through a game addiction. He was addicted to the game so much that he hadn't known what he was going a withdrawal if he had to quit now. He hadn't known how much he had known about this game his friend had told him about an online game and he had been thinking of playing it for a while.

Would you stay true to this game without any questions if you had been given the choice?

He had been thinking of this question for quite a while. He hadn't know what he was going to do. He just been trying to figure out the answer to this question since he had been wanting to give the person an answer that would seem true to him. He just been thinking of a way that he could even speak to him and he just nodded to give him an answer. He probably couldn't stay away from this game even if he had tried.

The RPer

name kalinann
face claim air gear, agito

[nachtmare]

+ Pending

There are plenty of grammar errors in your app that make it hard to understand. While I don't expect perfect grammar, please look over what you write.

> "Sora had known that he was going through a lot of things that he hadn't known of."

Did you mean "there were a lot of things that Sora was going through that he didn't understand?"

The first part of your app was emphasis how he was addicted to the game, but what is the second part meant to portray? From what I understand reading your app, the only feature of your character is his addiction. There doesn't seem to be a point to the second half of your app. Please redo it and focus on your character as a whole. One good way for this is picking a defining moment in your character's life.

Post in the notification thread once finished editing.