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Post by castor on Sept 20, 2012 10:50:26 GMT -8
 CASTORtwenty-five | male | player | love/knowledge | elias sokovskiThe CharacterYou make sure each day to take your medicine. It's in the cabinet above the sink and you have to take one every day, two if you're up for more than twelve hours. So, really... one every twelve hours. You are sure to do it properly so you don't mess anything up. You don't want to see him as upset as he'd been when you were at your lowest, when you didn't think you had anything to hold onto, or you shouldn't. You're broken, but you're trying. You're the doll with the sewn patches over the wounds. They were still there, but covered up, undetectable, hidden away from the world, and only your brother knows, and your doctor, of course.
You don't like including your doctor, but you have to if you want to get your medicine. You tell him most things, but you avoid talking about the intimacy with your twin. Would you be reported? You're afraid you'll be put away, you'll get into trouble if you tell him that the only thing you love is the only thing you shouldn't, not in the way you do. In Japan, it's something new, some new place that you can bury yourself inside. The language is a bit difficult but Elijah helps you as much as he can, and you appreciate every moment you have with him. Why had you been willing to give this away? He loves you... and with the medicines, it's easier to see that. The voices are dulled and though the headaches are worse, you're not scared of the shadows anymore. They're not coming after you.. and you're not hurting anyone, including yourself.
When your Japanese is acceptable enough you apply for a job as a kindergarten teacher. You love children. Even when you were unstable, you would never hurt a child. They were such pure innocence, such perfection, and you love learning with them and teaching them. You love helping them and reading them stories, and teaching them little words in his own native language. You're trying very hard, though you know you're jealous when your brother has to work away from you. Attachment issues.. you know, but you can't help them. The game helps. It's their own little world together and you can bury yourself with him in a world that won't hate you if they knew what a freak you were.
Everyone needs just a bit of something unreal to keep them going.. you need it to feel normal, just the tiniest bit. The medicine helps. You take it every day, from the medicine cabinet in your bathroom, above the sink. You go to work and come home and wait for Elijah to come, and you play your game together. Everything's normal, everything's perfect. You're nothing without him.
The RPername Cuppy c:
face claim dramatical murder, trip
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