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Post by hua on Jan 7, 2013 8:43:18 GMT -8
 HUAseventeen (seventeen) | male | player | love/darkness | joshua rabaraThe CharacterEven after seasons passed and he himself changed with it, Joshua's family was as rotten as ever. Maybe they never raised their hands against him; maybe they never starved him, caged him or cast him outside the house. But his unfeeling resentment had not dripped a droplet from its frozen sculpture. He could smile, laugh and show to the world a young man free and unburdened of worries. He had changed that much; no more of the rotten child they hated because Joshua had learned. He repented, he mourned, he regretted - he learned. But how could he be blamed? He was a child, an unwanted child that was kept around under the shadow of someone more beloved.
He knew he was a rotten child, a disease that started from the rotten family. He knew he could have been saved. He knew he shouldn't have been so alone. He knew they could have been better.
But the damage was done. No more was the arrogant, cold, ambitious child they all hated. There was only the self-doubting boy, afraid to reach into the shadows without being reminded of his imperfectness. A rotten child will always be rotten.
He would save his brother, at least, the beloved he loved out of the love he was deprived of. Though Gabriel hated him, he would keep on embracing him because if it had been the other way around - and it had been for Joshua - he would have wished for the same thing.
He left Digimon Online more than a year ago for this. After six months of his darkest months, engrossed within the game with obsession and self-destruction, he came out in search of a new life. The Gold-ranked solo player "Emran" was dead. He made sure of it when he had the account deleted.
And now Joshua returns to the game he loves. Though it made him quit, there were many good memories in the game. He wants to go back and make amends. Regrets cannot stop in confessions. He has to correct mistakes.
The RPername AMB Tanz. Mostly Tanz.
face claim genso suikoden ii, kinnison
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