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Post by xzs1 on Sept 20, 2012 5:50:37 GMT -8
 PIRI-PIRIsixteen | male | player | go hog wild | kaoru abeThe Character
When was the last time I left this room? I know my hair's grown longer since then. My skin's paler, too. Even though it's a warm evening, I wear a hooded jacket to hide both. That I might be seen like this is terrible, horrifying.
...And unavoidable. Simply exiting the apartment and descending the stairs leads into several unwanted encounters with neighbors I haven't seen in years. One gasps when she recognizes me and calls my name--but I hunch my shoulders and hustle onward, trying not to feel her stare on my back.
Why did I think this was a good idea? My parents are out, at least, so I won't have to deal with their shock and excited jabbering, but that is only one small boon. Do I really want to leave my room for such a stupid reason?
Of course, I already know the answer. I spent countless hours debating with myself and weighing the pros and cons. It was Naki who finally pushed me over the edge, I think. Naki, who I could waste whole days talking to; Naki, who was frequently my only source of human interaction aside from my parents (and no, textboards didn't count). She--Naki said she was a girl, anyway, and I saw no reason to doubt her--had sung its praises, tantalizing me with ideas of an anonymous second life, free from the judgment of my peers and the worries of the real world. A new name, a new face, and an environment so immersive you could feel the virtual sunlight warming your skin.
I missed it. The outside, I mean. The sun and the grass--I really did.
But it was the unspoken reason she'd hinted at that grabbed me. I was revulsed at the same time, but it was surprisingly easy to rationalize that feeling away. We'd be using avatars, after all. It wouldn't be the "real" us. It'd be just like IMs, really...
My heart suddenly lurches. I jam a hand inside one of my jacket pockets, feeling around. There. No, I haven't forgotten my money or ID. I don't know what's required to set up an account and play, but how embarrassing it would be if I arrived and didn't have everything on me! My cheeks burn at the very thought, and I lower my face to avoid the scrutiny of the oncoming foot traffic.
The phone I find in that same pocket offers an excuse to keep my head down for the rest of the walk and train ride. I don't have anyone to text, but I have a couple old games downloaded that I can absorb myself in. Sometimes I risk a glance upward, and when I do, I see I'm not alone: several others are keeping to themselves, deflecting attention with their handhelds and books and mobiles. I feel a little better.
The remainder of the walk is harrowing but uneventful. There are many people here--many bodies, many eyes. I shrink inside my jacket and try to pretend I'm invisible until I reach the DO building. I've never been there before, but the map on my phone makes it trivial to find.
I almost wimp out outside the doors; knowing I have to speak with someone to set up an account rockets my anxiety into the stratosphere. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. The automatic doors activate as someone walks past, and even with my eyes squeezed shut I'm certain they're looking at me, wondering. Then they're gone. I relax. My resolve strengthens, and I step inside.
After so many years of isolation, being forced to speak to the assistants is nearly overwhelming, but somehow I manage to get everything right. I even manage to select my usual handle! I thought for sure it'd be taken.
Now I have to wait. It's after work for many and all of the pods have been taken. I sit with my hands between my knees, shivering. I'm jittery from nerves, but that's not all: it's excitement, too. Yes, it's definitely excitement. I have a goal. For once in the past several years, I have a goal, and I've left the house to achieve it. I'm so close...
And Naki, too, she's close as well--maybe already signed onto the server, waiting.
My whole face is red. I jump when the assistant approaches, and my reaction seems to startle her, too, because she stumbles and stutters when she tries to tell me a pod is open. I force a smile and rise to follow her.
Soon. Everything is going to be better...soon.
The RPername Xzs
face claim angel beats!, tk
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